performance 3:07:06 p.m.

Place a stuffed rhinoceros on a similarly colored couch, and cover it with a patterned blanket from Mexico.

Stand nearby and point to two lumps on your hand saying, "My cancer is turning me into a rhino."

If someone is offended, offer the stuffed rhino as consolation.



Questions you may be asking:

Q. Does it have to be a rhino? Can it be a teddy bear? Or dog?

A. Yes.

Q. What if I don't have lumps on my hand?

A. Keep smoking and point to the lumps on your lungs.

Q. What does a rhinoceros have to do with cancer?

A. What does the moon have to do with water?